Innocence
by Kyoko Sanura
Summary: What is an Andalite childhood like? Before the war began, a young Andalite girl grows up on the plains of her home world. A story in poems. *Chapter 10 up at last!* Please R and R, I beg you!!
1. 1

Disclaimer: Animorphs is not mine. Don't sue me for this little flight of fancy. 

Author's Note: I have not thought about Animorphs in quite a while, but this idea was calling to me, so I had to post it. This story is set in the peace time before the war with the Yeerks started, so I'm not sure I'm going to include any of the Animorphs characters. Anyway, review or e-mail me if you liked it, thought it was stupid, whatever. *BTW*, each chapter (or poem) really, I'll include a note on how old she is (they will go in chronological order, but may skip around) and, since Andalites mature a lot faster in thought and mind, how old she acts. Okay, I'm done yakking. On with the story. 

Age: 1 and a half (2 or 3)

1- Stay Close to Mother

Mirian-Soforr-Corintiana

was a needy child 

as her parents would say to important visitors

as though it were a prideful thing, 

but it wasn't

So then the visitors would chuckle behind their backs

and say knowingly that

Nara-Saminor-Varielyl

and Nokur-Mideeran-Corintiana

were young

they were idealistic and in love

how should they know 

how to raise a child in the proper way?

but they were devoted parents

When the vistors had come and gone

given the couple congratulations on their new little girl-

Sometimes at the scoop 

around evening 

when Mother was grazing and Father was at work

Mirian would nuzzle under her mother, tails touching

and when Mother would get tired of her clinging and hindering

Mirian would turn and reach up 

to stroke Mother's cheeks in a big, loving kiss

which Mother would return 

and cup her daughter's cheek

annoyance melting away

and said with love in her eyes

why do you want to spend so much time 

with your old Mother?

Go out and play. 

And so Mirian did. 


	2. 2

Age: 3 (4 or 5)

2-Running

When Mirian was upset over

some small, childish ill

she would take a deep breath 

and run

just run everywhere

and she would run for hours across the plain

breathing in all the while 

the sweet scent of Kayanoo grass

and the dew upon it. 

when Mirian's skinny legs could

carry her no more she 

would run home and 

collapse, exhausted, under the 

deep old Garibah tree

small blue hands clutching

at smooth brown bark

and she would fall asleep there

Mother would come and get her

and rouse her to go bathe

Look at you!

You're a mess!

It was true

Mirian's fur was tangled and 

filled with prickly burs

at the stream Mother's anger would soften

and she would tenderly comb 

her little daughter's fur

and pick out the burs

while, twitching, 

Mirian waited 

for a chance to steal away

time to play again 


	3. 3

(Mirian's) Age: 3 (4 or 5)

(Koari's ~CO-ree~) Age: 5 (6 or 7)

3-One Idyllic Day

Stay away from that girl

She's trouble.

Yes, Mother

Koari-Naful-Naparaken would

respond to that same old ditty

but his Mother's warnings couldn't

stop him

from gazing at her 

during his studies 

someday he would run away 

and join her 

in her beautiful running

Mirian

her sacred name he would murmur 

at night when he went to sleep

although she was a few years 

younger than him 

he'd always known

he would marry her

but until then

he would content himself 

with fantasies of just 

one idyllic day with her

they would run 

and thought-speak or just sit

enjoying each other's company

and he would make her a crown 

of Aiata flowers and then she

would tell him all her 

hidden secrets in that

one

idyllic

day 


	4. 4

Age: 3 (4 or 5)

4-Bedtime

After a long day of playing

in the fields

Mirian's mother would bring her inside

do I have to go to bed?

yes, little one

sleep is good for you

Mirian would protest

but Mother would prevail in the end

because a child is always tired at bedtime

though they will never admit it

please, Mother, can't I stay up

a little while longer?

no, Mirian, it's time for bed

she would say firmly 

but would stroke her child's cheek

in a bedtime kiss

after that Mirian would calm down

and begin to fall asleep

Much later, Mother came 

to Mirian's end of the scoop

I love you

you are the light of my life

she would say

a quiet tone in her thought-speak

then Mother would leave 

as quietly as she had come

I love you, too

Mirian would think to herself

but would try not to breathe

or make any sound to let

Mother know she was 

still awake


	5. 5

Author's Note: Thanks to all the lovely who reviewed! Those reviews really made my day! I guess it's a good thing if the author recieves threats of itchy underwear if she doesn't continue........ I think I'll bring Koari back in in a few more chappies. Here's a new poem-chapter-thingy....whatever. Hope you enjoy, hope you review. 

Age: 3 (4 or 5)

5-In Trouble

Let me see it, little one

it hurts!

I know it does

but you need to show me.

Mirian would lift up 

her hoof

it was cracked 

and her ankle hurt 

from being twisted 

in a way it wasn't supposed to

It looks like you twisted it

what happened?

I don't know, Mother

but she did know

what had happened

she had been climbing

the Gerant rock copies

where Mother had 

forbidden her to go

even for a little while

you probably know what happened

Mother would say gently

it was your ankle, anyway

in a measured voice

Mirian replied

it was a rock, Mother

careful you

don't give yourself away

Mother would look up 

suspiciously, and say

where was this rock?

caught in a lie

Mirian's hearts would beat

twice their natural rate

did you go anywhere you were not supposed to be? 

Mother would know then 

by her guilt-filled eyes

and tail between her legs

like a frightened animal

I-I was on 

the 

Gerant

copies

Anger and worry

would show in Mother's eyes

I told you not to go there!

It is dangerous!

I know, Mother

Mirian would shrink away 

as Mother would get upset

You could have been seriously hurt!

and 

I don't know if I could stand it

if anything bad should happen to you

Mother would then take 

her daughter's cheek in hand

her touch giving warmth and life

I love you so much, little one

you know we only forbid you

to go there because we worry

I'm just fine, Mother

you don't have to worry

Mirian would give her mother 

a reassuring kiss

as Mother's storm fled

as quickly as it came

A/N: Sorry this was so long, but the Gerant rock copies will be important later on. (I have a plot! Isn't it amazing?) I'm really hoping I spelled "copies" right. If I'm wrong, please correct me. Thanks. 


	6. 6

Author's Note: Hi everyone! Thanks to all the people who have reviewed! I love you all. Those reviews really make me happy. Sorry this one took so long, but it's a little longer than usual to make up for the wait. Hopefully I should have the next poem, chapter, thingie ma-bob up Sunday or Monday. BTW, this one is written in past-tense. I usually write in a tense of my own, using "would do" instead of "is doing" or "did." In doing this, I feel like I'm keeping the poem-feel to my narrative, and suggesting, that this sort of situation had happened more than once (as situations often reoccur in childhood.) However, this one felt more like a story than a poem as I was writing it, so I chose past tense. I hope this doesn't confuse anyone too much...I should stop talking now.... Okay, without further ado, here's 6. 

Age: 3 (4 or 5) 

Koari's Age: 5 (6 or 7)

6-Meeting

Crack!

Mirian whipped her tail,

with its blade, against the tree

who groaned in protest for

being used as a young girl's

practice target

Crack! 

Success!

her tail hit the same mark it had earlier

May I join you?

a polite, quiet thought asked

it belonged to a young boy

a few yards away

shaking with excitement

and nervousness over

finally speaking to her

Who are you?

Mirian asked, leery over

anyone her own age that would speak 

to her (for most other children 

were forbidden to talk to such 

a savage, uncivilized child)

My name is Koari-Naful-Naparaken

I am Mirian

What do you want?

To play with you of course!

I want to be your friend

Mirian didn't know what to say

to his sentiments

Koari surveyed her 

marks in the wood of the tree

Good

his tail flew into the bark

precisely where she had hit

Good

Mirian said shortly in return

who was this stranger

who thought that he had a right 

to come into her secret game

and take it over?

Can we run?

Koari asked suddenly

I have seen you run before

and I have always wanted to come with you

Fine

We can run

hopefully away from 

the odd boy

whom Mirian wished

would go away

just like that

she ran

as fast as a bolt of lightning

from a stormy summer sky

the blew hard 

rustling the grass

and creating tumbleweeds

fast as the wind was

Mirian outraced it

pounding hoof on

hard dirt ground

Wait, Mirian!

Koari ran

older

stronger

bigger

the male caught up to her

their hooves beat 

the blue-colored grass

their rhythms became one

as his hearts 

pounded in time to hers

two Andalites

running the plain

as it had been 

for a millennia

just

the sky

the ground

and the hooves

somewhere in between

they slowed down 

to a more leisurely run

and, panting,

they came to a stop

had they been running for

minutes or hours?

but Mirian

from now on

would always carry 

the image of Koari

white tail blade

flashing in the sunlight

running beside her

I want to be your friend

Mirian remembered 

his words as she caught her breath

and said

So you can run 

after all

And so they made arrangements

to meet the next day

and the day after that


	7. 7

Author's Note: Thanks SO much for the reviews I got off last chapter. You all are the best reviewers a writer could have. I am always open to suggestions for plot events ( or any suggestions at all!) As I am only 13, I'm not nearly as developed in my writing as everyone else on ff.net is....so, therefore, I love to hear comments on anything about my work......Why am I babbling? Oh yes, to make this chapter longer word-wise, because it's kind of short. Sorry. But enjoy anyway. 

Age: 4 (5 or 6)

7-Birthday

Get up, little one

the sun is already up

so you should be, too

And besides, 

it is your birthday today!

Mother's face greeted 

Mirian in the early morning

as bright sunbeams fell across

her face

I am four today

she realized that she

now was a whole year older

than when she went to bed

That's right, Mirian

Today is your day

Mother said as she 

tenderly pulled her daughter

to her hooves

I have some illspar root

for you this morning

Mirian's eyes lit up

at the prospect

of the rare treat

Mother led her to 

the main portion of the scoop

and gave her a taste of it

It is very filling

so don't eat too much

or you will be full all day

Mirian heeded her warning

and took only a small amount

feeling the rich, 

wholesome texture 

of the root

she mixed it with 

a little local Kayanoo grass

to round out the flavor

afterwards

Mirian observed

the dying, yet still vibrant 

colors of the Andalite sunrise

as they gave way to 

the deep rose

of the mid-morning sky

and thought it would be 

a fitting prelude

of a most wonderful birthday


	8. 8

Author's Note: I love you all! Thank you so much! When I got home this afternoon, I found FOUR reviews. One of them was even a threat if I didn't update soon! I love those, particularly when they're graphic...okay, so I'm a little weird. Anyway, I promised you a new chapter today, so here it is. Mini-dictionary: kilrah (KILL-rah) an Andalite unit of measure. 1kilrah=2 yards (or 6 ft)

Age: 4 (5 or 6)

Koari's Age: 5 (6 or 7)

8-At the Scoop

What should we do today?

We have been almost everywhere

Koari said dejectedly

pawing at the grass

We could go to my scoop

Mirian suggested

You have never been there and

you should see it

There is a stream nearby

and an old Garibah tree

and Mother still has some 

illspar root left over from my birthday

You can have some with me

Koari agreed, surprised

by her sudden passion

as she talked of her home

Mirian, he had noticed, 

used just a few words

to get her point across

Follow me

I will take you there

both children

set off into a canter

but the closer Mirian got

to her home, 

the faster she ran

until Koari struggled to keep up

they arrived at a stream

surrounded by lush vegetation

a few moments later

This is my home

Mirian said simply

Koari looked to an ancient 

Garibah tree, gnarled with time

nestled in the banks 

of the swiftly running stream

he looked beyond it

a few kilrahs away

and saw a scoop there

shallowly cut into 

rich, mahoghany soil

an Andalitewoman labored

diligently over an oval-shaped

garden built into the side

of a sloping hill 

It is beautiful 

Koari murmured 

and admired the beauty 

and tranquility of the scene

before asking 

Is that your mother?

Mirian didn't answer, rather

saying in a loud, open

thought-speak

Mother!

Mirian

Mother looked up 

from her garden

and saw Koari

and a smile came into her eyes

You have found a friend

Yes, Mother

This is Koari

Hello

she called 

Mirian jogged up to her Mother, 

leading Koari by the hand

I am Mirian's mother

the woman said

Hello

he replied 

he liked Mirian's mother

her eyes were expressive

and her clear face showed an honest soul

Mirian says you have illspar root left

Koari said

Yes, Mother, may we have some?

Of course

it is by the fountain

Mirian went to get it

and Koari follwed

the Corintianas had 

a small fountain

burbling up in a continuous, 

peaceful motion

echoing the way 

Koari was feeling

Mirian offered him the illspar root

and took some for herself

as Koari tasted his

Well

Mirian asked impatiently

How do you like it?

as he ate it, a sudden warmth

spread through his whole body

It is the best thing I have ever had

he said honestly

the comforting feel of the root 

felt sweet in his stomach

they ate and talked

and Koari felt happier than 

he had been in a long time

the simplicity of the day

washed away the worries

of the morning 

he had spent studying

Mirian, however, had a question 

in her mind

After this, may

we go to see your scoop?

the root turned sour 

in Koari's stomach 

at the question

No

was his first reply

Why not?

Mirian asked, startled by his response

Well

I suppose we could go

Koari amended uncomfortably

I would love to meet your parents

Mirian said in anticipation

meanwhile, Koari pushed

his root away

suddenly he wasn't hungry anymore


	9. 9

Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews. They really inspire me to write. Here is Chapter 9, at long last. It's been a week, I know. I'm REALLY sorry. But, this delay also has a reason. (Drum roll please) I have a beta!!!!!! Her name is Sara McGregor. (I'm her new beta, too.) So, it takes longer for me to write it down, type it, e-mail it to her, have her edit it, then have her send it to me, and me to get it back on Microsoft Publisher so it can upload correctly, than if it were just me writing it, typing it, and uploading it. With this new system, however, everything runs smoothly except the last part. I have finally resorted to just writing it down on paper from Sara's e-mail, then typing it all over again. You will be happy to know that this is the 4th draft of this chapter. Yay me! I can't figure out how to move words from one program to another! 

Note: On a more serious note, these next few chapters will not be good days for Mirian. (In the effort of preventing flames on this, I have included this note. ) I thought long and hard before deciding to put this up. Many of you say that Mirian's innocence is what most appeals to you. One review left last chapter said something like, "Mirian's innocence is refreshing in a world where innocence is in short supply." I almost changed the plot direction when I read that! That was before I realized that childhood is not always perfect, which these next few chapters will help to convey. I also realized that although the world is not always such a good place, children still tend to retain their innocence. While the title of this chapter is "Loss of Innocence," it is really only gone temporarily. 

Age: 4 (5 or 6)

Koari's Age: 5 (6 or 7)

9- Loss of Innocence

I am going to meet Koari's parents!

Mirian thought excitedly on the way

to her friend's home

Koari, however, wished 

she had never asked to see his home

but he led her anyway

into the valley

up the hill

to his family's scoop 

built into the side of the

sharply inclining hill

the scoop was a perfect oval

and was bare and clean

for his parents' philosophy

was that order,

was the essence

of perfection

and near-perfection

was required of all

as the familiar sight

greeted Koari

he felt awash with fear

opposing to the flow of

Mirian's anticipation

he knew he would be scolded

for being late from "grazing"

and bringing home a friend

Koari was fairly sure

he could make up 

a story on his own

but he could only hope

Mirian would play along

inside the scoop

Koari's mother

looked up at them

from her delicate art

of flower arranging

Koari!

she said

I was beginning to 

wonder where you were

her tone changed as

she noticed Mirian

standing at his side

Who is _this_?

she asked, suspiciously,

eyes narrowing

sharp and almost cold

I am Mirian

Koari watched 

his mother study her

long, gawky legs

matted fur

dirty hooves

bright eyes

I am Kambar-Kirili-Naparaken

his mother said,

considering whether to be

polite or to be direct

she at last settled for the polite way

Come in for a moment

she said, tentatively

then, hardening her tone, added

but only for a minute

then Koari must get back to his studies

Thank you, 

Mirian said, unsure

she did not think she liked

this woman much

and even now

she could feel

her disdainful, disapproving gaze

Koari's mother led the children inside

and offered Mirian a bit of Napal root

she shuddered as its bitter taste

and slimy texture

slid its way up to her stomach

Koari accepted his without words

although the black poison 

of unexplained dread

was coursing through his stomach

So

his mother said abruptly

you are the girl

that has such a hold over my son?

Are you also not the girl

whose idiotic parents

let her run around

when she should be studying for school?

You know, 

she continued with distaste,

it is not easy when you are thrust

into school at age six!

Koari studies now

so he will be smart enough

when school-time comes

Mirian was struggling 

to control her rage

idiots!

this vile woman dared to

insult her parents!

she felt angrier than she had ever been

but swallowed it to say coolly

My parents are not idiots

and with all due respect,

I think Koari is happier playing with me

thunder crashed

in the distance

as a shadowed void of silence

came over them

the mother snapped first

and summoned Koari to her side

the two went into a tidy corner

of the scoop 

a kilrah away

Koari was sick with fear

as his mother shouted at him

in private thought-speak

__

This is what you have been 

neglecting your studies for?

Mother, please

Koari begged

although he couldn't tell why

Look at her!

She is stale grass!

I have forbidden you to play with her

you have ignored my instruction!

We are friends, Mother!

The 

friendship 

ends 

now,

Koari-Naful-Naparaken

his mother knew she had won

but she was surprised when

Koari let Mirian into the conversation

and took the first great stand of his life

NO!

he shouted

Excuse me?!

No! I will not do it!

I am tired of following

your stupid rules! Mirian is

my

best 

friend

and neither you, nor Father

can take her from me!

his mother was shocked

by his open defiance

she hit him

with the flat of her tail blade

in his back

and he cried out

and so did Mirian

Koari!

How dare you speak to me like that!

his mother cried

but at the same time

she was horrified

by the look of betrayal

in her son's eyes

Leave, girl

she snapped

at Mirian

You have caused enough trouble

in this home

Mirian sobbed in her heart 

for her dear friend

took one last look

and ran out of the scoop 

as lightning flashed dangerously

and the heavens

opened their tears

to the earth

A/N: Next chapter up Thursday. 


	10. 10

Author's Note: Here you go. After a few months of waiting, here is Chapter 10. I know, it's been forever, and I'm really, really sorry. I have been away from the computer for many prolonged lengths of time. So I made this chapter extra-long for you guys, because you are the best readers and reviewers in the world. Whew, this chapter was hell to write, though. (Pardon my language.) It'll probably be even worse to type. I had to do this beta-less because, I'm pretty sure my beta (*clears throat loudly* Sara *cough* McGregor) has gone on vacation, and as I'm going to be doing so myself in a day or so, I really needed to get this out for you all. Anyway, on with it. As always, if you liked it or hated it, please tell me!! My e-mail is serena264@msn.com, or just leave a review. You will make my day, I promise you. 

Age: 4 (6)

10-Stones in Water

Mirian ran 

out into the fields

where the ground seemed

to be dissolving in the downpour

it ran in little rivulets at first

but then the flow grew to be like a 

vast ocean of rain water 

running over the hills

that was almost a foot deep

small animals began taking 

to high ground 

for fear of being 

swallowed in the sodden grass

Mirian took notice of these changes

her hearts pounding harder 

with each step she took

she was careful

to keep her hooves closed

lest she choke on the water

dangerous as the conditions were

she couldn't help thinking of Koari

and wonder, anxiously,

about what could be 

going on in his home

at that very instant

Mirian had been so stupid

she could see it now

talking to his mother like that

with all due respect

I think Koari 

is happier playing with me

at the time it had seemed so

right to stand up for him

but now she cringed 

at her own rash defiance

it was her fault

if she hadn't said that

then Koari and his mother might not

have started arguing

Mirian couldn't stop the image of 

him getting hit with his mother's tail blade

from playing over and over

in her mind

with each time she thought of it

a little piece of her hearts seemed 

to crumble and die away

and a knot in her stomach would tighten

Koari had never been allowed

to play with her in the first place

but now his mother probably 

wouldn't even let him go outside anymore

was it her fault?

Mirian went numb at the idea

how could they ever be friends now?

would he be mad at her for ruining everything?

she could convince him to forgive her

even if he was angry with her

she envisioned herself

bursting into their scoop 

and pulling Koari

out of that wretched place

Take my hand,

she would say, and he would

then they'd run away

to live at her house

and they would play 

in her stream every single day

but only if Mirian could get home first

the onslaught of rain

fogged up her vision

and the terrain under her hooves 

had turned even more slippery

like the grass had been ripped up

to be replaced by hard stone

Mirian slowly looked 

at the ground below her

there really was rock 

underneath her hooves

she was at the Gerant copies!

Mirian shivered

at least now she knew where she was

but, at the same time, 

she could just summon 

up an image of herself

several years back

I twisted my ankle.....

and her mother's upset voice

Were you at the Gerant copies?

then, Mother had warned her

about the consequences 

if she was ever caught there again

well, Mirian reasoned,

it wasn't her fault this time

so Mother should let her off

on getting in trouble

then Mirian saw it

the river!

it was winding itself between 

the boulder cliffs

of the Gerant

swollen with the rain

its waters spilling out 

onto the bank 

like blood from an open wound

she had never seen 

the bank before

as the cliff had always hidden it

from her view

then Mirian realized why

she was always on 

the other side of the river

because that was the side her home, 

her beloved scoop,

was on

the bridge Mirian and Koari

had used earlier to get to his home

was many miles away

and she would never be able

to find it in the rain

to get home

and the end of the river was 

many hundreds of miles away

Mirian faced the river

as the realization dawned on her

she would have to cross it....

she stared at the chasm between 

the two closest boulders 

it was a long way

how many feet would she have to jump?

the wind and rain roared in her ears

making her head feel

like one of the boulders 

she was gazing upon

she would have to 

take a running start

you'll get yourself killed!

the rational part of her mind argued

the driving need to be home

was beyond anything she'd ever felt before

Mirian walked to the

edge of the cliff

and looked down

terror

coursed through her veins

as she studied

the drop she could look

forward to if she missed

her mark, the other boulder

she was dizzy with fear

the river raged on 

about fifty feet below her

against all rationality she knew

Mirian backed up 

and started sprinting 

towards the edge

NO!

something in her cried out

one last time

turn back!

but she was already there

and she leaped off the cliff

and soared

Mirian's breath caught in her throat

she gasped for air

she couldn't breathe!

HELP!

she screamed

but no one was there 

to help her

even then, in the air

she knew

she'd missed

Mirian fell

her small body 

slammed

into the boulder of the other cliff

she was stunned

her left foreleg hit the stone

with a crack

she grabbed onto 

the jagged edges

of the boulder,

cutting her hands

she could feel the sting

of the rain on them

then

she was slipping

trying desperately to hold on

but her weak hands gave way,

sliding from the rocks like butter

Mirian gasped, 

wordless

not even managing to scream

she plunged

into the icy depths of the river below

everything went black

Author's Note: Quite literally, a cliff-hanger. Don't you think?

HYE, HYR

(Hope you enjoyed, hope you review)


End file.
